One month, two weeks, two days, and twenty-two hours since I left my country. That's a long way to walk alone, yet this journey was destined for me, and basically living every moment of it alone is mandatory, but as a human, a young adult, and a teenager in this world: I have all authority to make this year one of my best to live.
I remember people asking me from my very first day whether I was homesick or not. At that point of my journey I had full contact with my parents and siblings, and in fact, I was talking to them every two hours, they knew everything, and I felt safe that way despite the fact that they were 13,000 miles away from me.
As days went by, I realized that talking to them wasn't helping, and I started to run away from anything that reminded me of home. I saw my city's farms in the nature of Marion. I felt the cold weather of Saudi in the beginning of Marion's fall, which basically proved that I'll be freezing by the time of the winter season. I smiled upon remembering my brothers when I'm in the car every morning to go to school. Even the smell of the sweet black tea that was mixed with mint which I made every morning made me go back to our family gatherings that had to have tea. Nothing made me ache, until I realized that my host-mother reminds me of my parents in most of the things she does.
"What if?" I asked myself that question many times, then decided to not speak to my parents in hope that I'll get better. And luckily, that plan actually worked, I started to have fun, there were those days that made me feel happy, really happy, that happiness that made my heart beat in an incredible way. They were texting me once a day, and that was it.
I was determined that I should keep myself busy, that's why I joined four of the school's clubs.
Whenever I remember the hard work that I've put into coming here, I try to always live based on this saying "You should always know where you're standing". Despite Marion's small size, I still find it beautiful, because this city has lots of beauty hidden between the woods, on top of the mountains, and many historic stories in its people. It's very peaceful, and very quite. But I still asked myself "When will I allow myself to call it: home?". I haven't purchased any of the school's t-shirts yet, nor did I buy anything that involved either Marion or North Carolina on it. The feeling of belonging somewhere is hard to find and one month might still be too early, but positivity is making me smile, and I'm still attached to my roots in the soul of the earth which were mentioned by Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist.
Everything has a sound, and everything has a spirit that defines it and makes it look beautiful. The mountains of McDowell County are the greatest example, because not only are they beautiful, but also they have a way of making me happy whenever I stare at them.
I am lucky to be here. My homesickness is nothing but a cause that will encourage me to show the best of myself and country to the people of the US, so when I go back home my parents whom I see in Tracey will say: that's our girl.
Here's this last sentence: we'll never know how strong we are until we leave our comfort zones.
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