I was there a month ago, but I am here now.

August kicked itself off with a one night trip to Qatar, which was basically called: Razan's Farewell Trip. It was an amazing Staycation, we stayed at the hotel and didn't leave it, because the weather was too hot, and because we were able to tan in fifteen quick minutes.  

I was planning to order a huge plate of shrimps from the midnight menu that was placed right beside my bed, but after eating some good Lebanese food, I strongly believed that my stomach was satisfied with Humus, stuffed grape leaves, and a huge plate of fruits just for me. 

I was with my family all day long, and I simply had lots of fun and enjoyed my time. I felt happy despite the fact that I was going to travel in exactly nine days, and knew absolutely nothing about a city called: Marion, or an organization named FLAG.

All I remember about that trip is that I tanned, went to the spa twice, and ate a lot. Then we had to return and I myself had a bag to pack, and some relatives to say goodbye to.  Those nine days made me feel very strange, because everything was happening, I was really traveling and coming here. No words shall describe how I felt, for I was terrified, but happy at the same time.

I had lunch invitations that I rejected.  Parties that I didn't go to. Family gatherings that I ignored. I wanted to stay at home as long as I could. I wanted to sleep in my bed, wake up on my little brothers' sounds, smell the fresh Arabic coffee in the morning, greet my parents as they ate dates and read the newspapers, and go wake my sisters up and be yelled at for opening their windows to allow the strong sun to come in and strike them. I wanted to sit at the table thirty minutes earlier before lunch, and then end up eating only rice without any meat, but with some delicious vegetables and salad. I enjoyed each lunch because we had a lot to talk about. I loved to have tea and Arabic coffee after the lunch and sit with my family. I knew that I'd miss that routine, that's why I felt like I had to live every second of it. 

I went to my friend's house for lunch after she had strongly insisted, and then she made me the must humble goodbye cake. She also cooked my favorite pasta, and made a new lava molten cake to say goodbye in a very "descent" way.  

Not many people know that I'm a very picky person when it comes to food. Because I always imagine myself as a MasterChef judge, and I literally judge everything about the food which pisses my parents.  My dad have always told me "Food is food, just thank god for having it, and eat whatever you have on your plate.".  I tried to live based on his advice after I've eaten the airplane's crushed beans, and I'm still alive, no more MasterChef judging, and food proved to be a huge grace. 

The last thing I did before my departure day was cleaning and cooking shrimps at 3:00 am.  My mom knew that I was crazy, but hunger doesn't know a time. I put lots of spices on those shrimps, and they tasted really good for something that was cooked in the early dawn hours. I didn't sleep though, and my sister cooked an egg at 10:00 am. Yes, we were up, and we tried to invest every hour of that last day. Eggs and some good homemade flavored milk, what could be better?  Shrimps, oh yes, they made me shrimps for lunch too! 

My last day came, and I was ready. 

Last month I was there, somewhere on this planet, wandering and living my life.  My country looked really beautiful, and my city had an excellent weather at that day. I was there, between my family. I was really there. 

My present is better than what I've expected. I'm learning to leave my past and live these precious moments. The road is still a little bit bumpy, but I'm getting through it. Where was I one month ago?  You decide, because my paradise is between my family. But, guess what?  I have a second family too now, I'm surrounded by amazing people with wonderful mentalities. I'm in Marion which turned out to be an amazing city.  I'm a FLAG student which happens to be the best placement organization that I know of.  I was there a month ago, but I am here now.