300+ Days

My strong heart beats started and that was my signal that my time to leave has arrived.  My last day in McDowell County.  24 more hours between the mountains and that Great Lake which was the source of my tan for the past week. The breeze, the fresh air, and the sweet scent that it carries.  The flowers and the different trees. The birds' songs, and the whole atmosphere of the glorious nature of McDowell County blends in together magically.  I gained the love to this county through its nature, because it made me wonder in peace when I needed silence, and talk in excitement when I needed energy.  The new paved roads, the big Walmart, and the mountains, that is McDowell, that is my Marion which stole my heart even when I didn't realize it. 

My American family decided that we would go kayaking at Lake James on the morning of my last day, because who wouldn't enjoy that?!  I couldn't sleep that night, maybe because I was at the lake a day before and my muscles were still aching, or maybe because I was diving through the different thoughts which possessed my brain that night.  I was remembering my first night, and everything that have changed in me as a person in more than 300 days. 300 days, what a big number. 300 pages added to the story book of my life. 300 adventures. 300 talks.  300 reasons that kept me away from sleeping. I remembered this and that. I smiled at some memories and teared at some others. "It is time to say goodbye", I kept this thought in my mind, and I believe that I slept for a couple of hours then I was ready to get up at 5 am. Was that all excitement to go kayak with sore muscles?  Not really, but I was ready to spend one full day with the people I love the most in the states. 

Coffee is my American parents' favorite thing to have in the morning, and I believe that I became a morning coffee lover as well. There's a strong memory that I have of the house now. Every morning of those 300 days had a really special smell to the house. It would smell just like coffee, but to me, I've never smelled it like any regular coffee. It was much more, it is my favorite morning scent now, because it has so many memories for me. I can smell it at this moment, even though I'm far away from North Carolina. I can smell it, for it brings joy to my heart, and cheer to my current mornings in DC. I can smell it, because it delivers various flashbacks of my happy days in McDowell County. 

I was up by five that morning, then I went to the living room at seven.  American Mother was shocked to see me there that early, because let's be realistic, that's abnormal to the people who know me very well. But, she and I had our cups of coffee, and the day started. We packed our stuff for the lake, and in a matter of a couple of hours, we were on the road stretching our arms and preparing them to kayak. 

The whole day was joyful. I literally spent a happy day, because of all the fun that we had, and all the true laughs which we shared. We lived for our present, and we were aware of that, which made it even more enjoyable. We kayaked to a point where we can see the mountains perfectly, and the whole view was like it was a photograph.  I knew that that was a great time for me to make a few last memories with my second family, because now when I look back as I am writing this, all I'm doing is: smiling back at those 300 days. 

The next day approached as fast as it can ever be, and it was my time to say goodbye. I went to the kitchen and smelled the special scent of coffee which gets me every time as my American mother said "Here comes my world traveler.".  I couldn't reply, because if I did, then I would've cried, so I just smiled. It was five am, and it was very dark. It dawned on me that I arrived to my future at that time in the dark, and I was leaving it as a happy past in the dark too. It seemed like the darkness was taking me to the unknown to brighten my life in the next morning.  It was intimidating to start this experience in the dark, but that made me find the courage within myself to undergo a new thing to me. Yet when it was time to say goodbye, the story was much different, because I had to find a lot of courage to say goodbye to my American family which has become part of me for the rest of my life. 

American mother talked about several things on our way to the airport, but my mind was literally empty, that's why I couldn't respond to everything she said. I was terrified of that goodbye moment, like literally: scared like I've never been. When we arrived to the airport, we checked my bag in, and then we went to the security check. American mother gave me some letters which everyone wrote for me, and I myself handed her a letter that I wrote for her. She waited with me as her eyes teared, and as my heart ached.  Goodbye was really happening. That was time.  It was time to hug her goodbye, and I've never experienced something this hard all year long. We met each other as complete strangers, but I cannot explain how close we got at the end of the year. It's just fascinating to me to see how one year could do so much, and how people are destined to meet each other, and be part of each other's lives. I don't know what's the proper way to describe my goodbye, because it simply broke me in a second, and then built me again in the next as I tried to think positively. Yet that didn't work, so I gave up to the reality's truth, hugged her again, then waved goodbye as I headed for my next thing. 

Later that night I texted her and we talked for a while, and as we were doing our best to think positively of the future, I shared with American mother two of my favorite quotes; "Fear is what keeps us alive" and "Pain demands to be felt". We came up with the conclusion that if I'm sad, then I must allow myself to feel that sadness, because it won't do me any good to ignore any of my feelings. But then, I need to think positively and take everything from an enthusiastic approach, because this is a start of something new. 

American mother: You are one of the greatest women I've met in my whole life. You taught me about many things, and you made me grow so much as a young adult this year. You took me as your fourth child, and I'll forever consider you as my second mother. Everyday was a new adventure with you, and I thank you for giving me many opportunities to live my life to the fullest. 

American father: You're awesome in everything you do. You do things in a funny way which makes everything so much easier. You love sports, and you made me understand American football! I look forward to going to a Mets game and watch Harvey play with you in New York. Thank you for being who you are, because that means a lot to me. 

Ava: You're going to be a very successful flutiest.  You will accomplish so much in high school. You have a great future ahead of you. Remember to always have a goal to pursue in the next few years, because that will help you tremendously in finding your real self and you exact interests. Never forget that you have all of us to support and guide you in everything you wish to do, whether it's now, or later in life. I miss my little sister already, but I'll come back to see you very soon! 

Grant: If you're readying this, then I'm guessing that you went through the whole thing super fast because of your reading skills.  You will be a great future scientist, and I'm sure that the world will need your curiosity to solve many problems. A question is the start of finding any answer, remember that you can accomplish so much once you believe in yourself. Don't rush to grow and know more, just enjoy the moment as it lasts. 

Olivia: I love you. 

I love you all so much, and I miss you already.