"I want to live this year."

“I want to live this year.”  A statement made by my sister that made me start wondering about the true self concept of living that each human might, or “should”, possess.  The definition of living, and actually meaning the enjoyment of life is pretty different from person to person.  As humans, we are very similar in a lot of things, yet our impressions of life in general are extremely different.

Living takes us through different experiences, and that’s what it’s meant to do.  We are made to be different, and that is why we get along together.  Imagine a world where everyone is the same.  Same ideas, perceptions, views, opinions, and looks.  Our differences help us in acknowledging the beauty of our own selves.  So, what does it mean to live?

Personally, I haven’t figured this one out yet.  Most of the time, I don’t really care about finding that great power in myself that shall make me understand.  This doesn’t mean that I’d rather be stupid about my surroundings; it simply means that I’d rather have more things to discover in the future.  Not knowing about tomorrow brings some peace to my mind, because that helps me on concentrating on the present.  Fear, however, has never seized to disappoint me.  Fear makes my heart race at the present, to make my brain seek for experience from the past, but I always smile at the end of it, because I know that I will be heading to the future as a stronger person.  Whatever the experience is, fear always leaves us stronger for everything that will be heading our way.  But, I cannot dismiss the fact that sometimes wandering makes many things look better.  Whenever I wander, I start to have a sense of appreciation towards this life that many of us are trying to “live.” But look at yourself, you are living but forgetting about your soul that will add that taste of “life” to your living experience.

This is not complicated, it’s human nature.  We tend to make things complex with our 

thoughts, but all we need is to know just a bit more about what we want.  I had this conversation with my aunts last night; each one of them had her own definition of living.  The younger ones wanted to stop regretting about the experiences they’ve left and start going back to their young roots of life.  They wanted to live each day with a new adventure.  They wanted to wake up to a song, and sleep with a smile.  The older ones believed that they can start seeing the joy of life once their kids get older.  They strongly thought that their true definition of “living” lays with their children.  That’s neither wrong nor right.  It’s never a wrong idea to fulfill your happiness by witnessing the success of your children and their true childish joy.  But it’s not right to keep your life attached to the laughs and tears of your kids.  I’m not a mother, and I might never get their point now, but I do know that they should also find a wider definition of living that will involve enjoying their own happiness and joy just like their younger sisters.

This discussion with my aunts is the perfect example of how people are different.  Here we have sisters who all grew in the same house and still drifted in the same environment as adults.  Yet our philosophy of living changes as we grow more, simply because there is not a greater explanation other than: it is normal to be different.  My input to that discussion was different, I was the youngest in that room, and I haven’t seen many of them in a while, my different decisions since I turned 13 made me different than my aunts, their kids, and even my sisters.  Being the youngest did not mean that my plate of experiences was empty.  I told them that I had the chance to go to a university in a big city with every service I need available just like many other Saudis my age studying abroad.  But I chose something different, I wanted to take the road less traveled and see how things will go with me.  I chose to live and attend college on a mountain.  My choice started defining my concept of living, because I truly found my happiness on that mountain which doesn’t have the world’s greatest services and malls, but I am okay with that, because that road makes me happy; I want that for the mean time.

My point is, we don’t need a lot to start living and being happy, we just need to know how and where to start, we need to make that New Year’s resolution and actually mean making it happen.  It’s okay to take the road less traveled, because once you find your true joy of living, you’ll start recognizing the greatness in you, thus: you’ll know why everything is the way it is, and you’ll stop caring to ask questions, because everything will make sense, and many simple things will make you smile.